It’s Not Me, It’s You!

Ufuoma E-AshogbonPosted by

To make up for skipping yesterday's #dailymedicine, here's a #doubledose, still on today's theme of #breakuplines. ENJOY this short fictional piece by yours truly!  It's lacking in moral lessons, but one thing that's funny to note is that we should be careful what we ask for...  The truth can be bitter.

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Tosin couldn't believe her ears. After three months of dating Dare, she had been excited when he had invited her to dinner, expecting a romantic evening with a declaration of love. Certainly, she hadn't considered this turn of events. "Come again?" she beckoned.

"I said it's not me, it's you," Dare repeated himself. "I want to see other people".

"What do you mean by that? That is so rude!" Tosin said, offended. "What is so wrong with me?"

"For starters, this! There's no winning with you ladies! If I had lied to you and said it's not you, it's me, you would have cursed me out," Dare said in his defense. "I'm just trying to be honest here. Maybe you can learn and be better off for the next guy".

Tosin looked at him wide-eyed. She couldn't believe he was still insisting that she was the problem in their relationship, after all she had done for him, after everything she had put into the relationship. She fought back the tears. "Really?  So tell me, Mr Per-fect, what is so unbearable about me?"

Dare wiped something from his nose.  "Well, you spit when you talk.  And you're also a bad kisser.  You dribble in my mouth and it grosses me out," Dare cringed, with a grimace on his face. "I tried many times to guide you, but you're such a control freak...always trying to lead the kiss".

Tosin covered her mouth in shame, as a tear rolled down her cheek.

"And you have bad breath too!" he continued. "Why do you think I'm always buying you gum?"

Tosin held her breath, wondering if she had the strength to take any more of this.  She thought to herself that at least he was an honest guy.  Some people won't even tell you what's wrong and leave you wondering endlessly.  She could work on those things, she thought.

Before realising what she was saying, she begged. "Please give me another chance, I can get better."

Dare withdrew his hand from the table and stood up in haste, as though she had a contagious disease. "Please, no more.  Take care of yourself," he said as he bolted for the door... leaving her with the bill to settle.

Photo credit: www.unsplash.com

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  1. That’s quite wicked of the guy……leaving her with the bill to settle, after flogging her with his words? She’s better off without him, anyway.
    Happy sunday!

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